An Official Blogger

Alright you guys, I have been asked and told on numerous occasions to write a book or get a show for my kids, so this is my realistic attempt to share my crazy life with the world! If you enjoy the updates about my kids, with all the crazy things they say and do, then please follow our blog! :) Everything will now be on here rather than facebook...at least that's the goal, if I can get all of you to follow us on here instead. LOL This way if you have any other friends who might enjoy hearing about the chaos that is the Freyre household, they can follow too! So please join and share this blog with others so we can let others have fun waiting to see what these monkeys will do next! :)

Behavior Management 101 - Let's Begin!

Alright, today my mother took me out to shop in preparation for implementing a few new methods in our home to help get my children under control. I have failed to stay consistent with anything and it shows in the attitudes and constant disobedience from my kiddos. It also shows in my own nasty attitude. I no longer want this home to look and feel like a war zone. I want to actually enjoy playing with my kids, you know, and not have to tear them off each other while trying to play a game, or listen to them argue back and forth over who gets to turn the page of the book we are reading. Enough is enough! None of us are happy with the way things are right now and it's time I "man-up" and do something about it. So, I will invite you all to join me on the journey to "taming" the Freyre kids. Don't laugh... for those of you that know my children well enough, this does sound like an impossible job, but God can do anything right? ;) OK...I'm not expecting them to stop being the crazy characters they are, what fun would that be? But some obedience and respect would sure be nice! So, with that said, here is a glimpse into my new approach...

First of all, I am not a huge advocate for the time-out method. I have rarely seen it work, in fact, my kids always seemed to look relieved when I chose this method of punishment...which seriously annoyed me. However, I have tried it for the past few days, and remained consistent, and it is actually proving to be effective! Imagine that. Even when it comes to Landon, that is the kicker for me. Nothing else works on that child, and I mean NOTHING, but do 2 minutes in time-out, bring him back to the situation he was in trouble for, explain it is a "no-no" and he walks right away from it, never to return (at least for that day). My big kids seem to be responding positively as well.

Second, a behavior chart.  They will receive stickers for the "morning shift" and the "evening shift". Doing a sticker for an entire day would just be an impossible time frame, so I am breaking the day up. If they can get through the morning without getting in trouble, they get a sticker, and the same goes for the evening. By getting in trouble, I mean I shouldn't have to move beyond any warnings to the point of time-out or spankings. They get one warning, that's it! No more of this 50 million warnings and get mom so worked up she is screaming, THEN receive the punishment. No, it should take one warning, and after that its time-out and no sticker. If they get 7 stickers in a row (well, 14 for the morning and evening) then they get to pick a prize out of the treasure box. When I ask or tell a child to do something, they get one chance, if they refuse to do it when asked and another sibling does the work, then the 2nd child will get the 1st child's sticker for that shift. Talk about incentive right?? That's using sibling rivalry to my advantage. LOL

I also have a few smaller things I am going to try doing in between, one being what to do with the all the name calling. I read in my Focus on the Family magazine a technique one author used and I love it. For every mean word the kids say to each other, they will have to come up with three "nice" things to say about that person before anyone can move on.

Another author discussed teaching the kids to take ownership for their behavior. I don't know about you, but my kids sure do LOVE the blame game. "But he said...!!" "But she hit me!!" "But...But...But..." you get the idea, Adam and Eve played the same game. This author suggested explaining that "losers" blame other people while "winners" accept the responsibility for their actions and apologize. He said every time one of the kids would go to blame the other, he would hold his fingers up in the shape of an "L" to express "loser". The kids got a kick out of it, but also began to catch themselves in the act of blaming. Anytime one would take responsibility for their actions, they would hold up a "W" for winner. I know for me, this sounds perfect for my kids. It will lighten the mood, yet at the same time make them aware of their behavior and help them learn to end the blame game at a young age.

These are some of the methods I am going to try and implement, and I need all of you to hold me accountable! I know for me, with having so many little ones, I truly struggle to remain consistent because its so overwhelming. But I really desire to raise my children to be loving and respectful, towards their parents and siblings, but also towards the rest of the world around them. So with that said, let the newest journey begin!

The Truth Behind Mother's of Multiples

I have had some fun discussions with my mommy friends lately. Those conversations where you are like, "Thank you Lord that I am not the only crazy one!" :) I thought I'd share some of the highlights with you other Mama's who live the same "Relaxed" lifestyle and need some affirmation. So here we go:

Topic One: A clean house

We all agreed, who has time to keep their house immaculate? When you have more than one young child, keeping a clean house is nearly impossible if you intend to have quality time with your little ones and hubby. I know some women are able to do this, and I am in awe of them! But most of us fail to keep our houses in "proper" order. We are lucky if our homes get picked up regularly, the dishes are done and there are clean clothes to wear. if those three things are accomplished, we are satisfied! the group of Mommies I was talking to all agreed, we generally either wear socks or shoes in the house for fear of what may be on our floors... don't worry, before you get all freaked out and think we are disgusting slobs, it only takes one meal or one trip outside to produce filthy floors in a house full of little ones. If you were to step foot in my own kitchen after one of our meals, you would be amazed at the small feast that covers the floor surrounding my kitchen table. We all agreed however, its worth living in the mess if it means more time with the family! :)

Topic Two: Our children's appearances

Clean children, matching clothes, styled hair... if you were to look at any of our kids, you would assume they were "free spirited" children based on their appearances. My one friend and I agreed, we are lucky our daughters get their hair brushed most days, styling it? my version of styling is slapping Kyleigh's hair in a pony tail. Matching clothes? ok, maybe for church, but most days, they dress themselves so we are lucky the clothes they choose match the season or size, if the colors match it is by Divine intervention. Most days D.J. is wearing size 2T basketball shorts... he is a size 6. But he loves those shorts, and of all the battles I choose to fight, that is the least of them so out he goes in his short shorts! Besides, you have way more fun seeing the reactions of outsiders when they see our goofy looking clans with their dirt and jelly smeared faces, nappy hair, and leopard print pants and polka dot shirts out in public. Judge away, because you can't deny they are all happy as can be! :) Which leads into topic number 3....

Topic Three: Bathing

One kid is easy to bathe daily...but beyond that, most of us will admit we HATE bathing them and postpone it as long as we can! Spring and summer are hard, they get pretty filthy... but even then, it just depends on how filthy. I will leave this one with my favorite quote of the year thus far by my friend, " When i realize their hair is kind of crusty, I think, it's probably time for a bath." LOL

These were the three highlights of our conversations recently, and they make me smile even writing them. I would have never dreamed I would let so many things go when I became a mother, but you also are never taught how little time you have to do the overwhelming number of tasks that come with being a wife and mother. So, it all comes down to priorities, and it's comforting to know that those around me share the same sentiments when it comes to the number one priority in their lives, and that is quality time with our kiddos! The rest can wait another 6 years or so... :)

Love

I don't know about the rest of you, but I really struggle to know how much is too much when it comes to sharing God's Truth. I wish he gave us more specific “directions” when it comes to this area. So often i hear people say, " its not worth arguing, you won't get anywhere. just live it and show them love, and most of all pray for them." Where there is definitely truth to this, I feel more often than not it is just a cop out. It's the easy way to go. I once heard the analogy that if a man was standing in a burning building, would you just walk away and pray he gets out alive? Or would you go in and do whatever it took to help him find the way out? Or lets say you saw someone driving full speed towards the edge of a cliff… would you pray they realize it before the drive over? Or would you do anything and everything to get their attention before it’s too late?

If our God hates sin so much that He had to sacrifice His only Son so we could enter His presence, than we need to hate it just as much. This doesn't mean we hate the people... because if we hate anyone based on the fact that they are living in disobedience to the Word of God, then we should also hate ourselves.  As Christians, we too are sinners, simply redeemed by the blood and not by anything we ourselves have done to earn it.  The two commandments Christ left us with were "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and all your soul and all your mind." and "Love your neighbor as yourself." We tend to overlook the words used to describe love in the famous passage 1 Corinthians 13, but I recently read that one of the best ways to truly grasp this piece of scripture is to put your name in place of the word love: "Corinna is patient, Corinna is kind. She does not envy, she does not boast, she is not proud. She is not rude, she is not self-seeking, she is not easily angered, she keeps no record of wrongs. Corinna does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. She always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Corinna never fails." Anyone else feel like total garbage after doing that? I sure DO NOT fit that description!!! read it again, reread it, and again... let the words sink in. We can share God's truth openly and honestly, we just need to do it in LOVE. Share it in kindness, in patience, in humility... we don't need to be rude or get upset when someone attacks us, we are to PERSEVERE, and protect the people of God and the billions of souls at stake, by offering them the only thing  any of us truly needs. 

This applies in all circumstances...clearly there are some subjects that cause a greater "uproar" than others, (ie: abortion, money/greed, homosexuality, etc.). But just because they are "hot topics" does that mean we keep quiet? I can't imagine the great men of God throughout history, the very authors of the Word of God, remaining silent on any of these topics. In fact they were pretty direct when it came to disobedience in general. Given, they were writing to those who already claimed to know the Lord, but even for those who don't, you can still share the Truth without "shoving it down their throats". In those cases, wait on the leading of the Holy Spirit, and of course, always speak IN LOVE. Which to clarify, does not mean we don't talk about sin like the church is teaching anymore. This is where i didn't agree with the late Jerry Falwell... I felt he used the word "You" too much and came across very judgmental when he spoke...I remember a common analogy of his that compared gays to what went on in the barnyard, and even I was turned off by it. I don't mean to discredit him as a person or the amazing things God accomplished through him, but i do believe his approach wasn't the most loving. "For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing." 1 Corinthians 1:18 They won't understand, but that doesn't mean we sit still and keep silent, it just means we pray find another approach. 

We are all so scared of controversy, of offending and losing "friends" that we refrain from speaking the truth, hence the birth of the "seeker friendly" movement. We are more scared of upsetting people than we are for their eternal well-being. Believe me, i hate controversy as much as anyone else, it never feels good to have people upset with you, even to the point of hatred. To wake up and realize yet another person has "deleted" you sucks. I don't care who you are, being torn up and spit out verbally hurts, but do we care more about our feelings being hurt or about the security of God's creation? When I face God, will the amount of friends I had on facebook matter more than the souls I could have reached had I allowed myself to fully surrender to God and His will? I agree, there is a point when we should keep our mouths shut...when a  conversation has turned sour and our words are hitting the ceiling. I also believe we should absolutely be personally living what we preach and praying for the lost, especially those in our realm of influence. But God gave us hands and feet, a brain, his Word, resources, and most of all, he gave us grace and mercy, not so we could live a life of peace and  comfort for ourselves, but so He could use us to "Go and make disciples of all nations." Yes, PRAY, but don't pray and just sit on the incredible gift God has given us. PRAY God will use us in a mighty way for His glory, PRAY God will give us wisdom and discernment for when and how to speak His truth, and PRAY God will open the hearts of our listeners to receive it, and Lord willing, to accept His precious gift of salvation.