Behavior Management 101 - Let's Begin!

Alright, today my mother took me out to shop in preparation for implementing a few new methods in our home to help get my children under control. I have failed to stay consistent with anything and it shows in the attitudes and constant disobedience from my kiddos. It also shows in my own nasty attitude. I no longer want this home to look and feel like a war zone. I want to actually enjoy playing with my kids, you know, and not have to tear them off each other while trying to play a game, or listen to them argue back and forth over who gets to turn the page of the book we are reading. Enough is enough! None of us are happy with the way things are right now and it's time I "man-up" and do something about it. So, I will invite you all to join me on the journey to "taming" the Freyre kids. Don't laugh... for those of you that know my children well enough, this does sound like an impossible job, but God can do anything right? ;) OK...I'm not expecting them to stop being the crazy characters they are, what fun would that be? But some obedience and respect would sure be nice! So, with that said, here is a glimpse into my new approach...

First of all, I am not a huge advocate for the time-out method. I have rarely seen it work, in fact, my kids always seemed to look relieved when I chose this method of punishment...which seriously annoyed me. However, I have tried it for the past few days, and remained consistent, and it is actually proving to be effective! Imagine that. Even when it comes to Landon, that is the kicker for me. Nothing else works on that child, and I mean NOTHING, but do 2 minutes in time-out, bring him back to the situation he was in trouble for, explain it is a "no-no" and he walks right away from it, never to return (at least for that day). My big kids seem to be responding positively as well.

Second, a behavior chart.  They will receive stickers for the "morning shift" and the "evening shift". Doing a sticker for an entire day would just be an impossible time frame, so I am breaking the day up. If they can get through the morning without getting in trouble, they get a sticker, and the same goes for the evening. By getting in trouble, I mean I shouldn't have to move beyond any warnings to the point of time-out or spankings. They get one warning, that's it! No more of this 50 million warnings and get mom so worked up she is screaming, THEN receive the punishment. No, it should take one warning, and after that its time-out and no sticker. If they get 7 stickers in a row (well, 14 for the morning and evening) then they get to pick a prize out of the treasure box. When I ask or tell a child to do something, they get one chance, if they refuse to do it when asked and another sibling does the work, then the 2nd child will get the 1st child's sticker for that shift. Talk about incentive right?? That's using sibling rivalry to my advantage. LOL

I also have a few smaller things I am going to try doing in between, one being what to do with the all the name calling. I read in my Focus on the Family magazine a technique one author used and I love it. For every mean word the kids say to each other, they will have to come up with three "nice" things to say about that person before anyone can move on.

Another author discussed teaching the kids to take ownership for their behavior. I don't know about you, but my kids sure do LOVE the blame game. "But he said...!!" "But she hit me!!" "But...But...But..." you get the idea, Adam and Eve played the same game. This author suggested explaining that "losers" blame other people while "winners" accept the responsibility for their actions and apologize. He said every time one of the kids would go to blame the other, he would hold his fingers up in the shape of an "L" to express "loser". The kids got a kick out of it, but also began to catch themselves in the act of blaming. Anytime one would take responsibility for their actions, they would hold up a "W" for winner. I know for me, this sounds perfect for my kids. It will lighten the mood, yet at the same time make them aware of their behavior and help them learn to end the blame game at a young age.

These are some of the methods I am going to try and implement, and I need all of you to hold me accountable! I know for me, with having so many little ones, I truly struggle to remain consistent because its so overwhelming. But I really desire to raise my children to be loving and respectful, towards their parents and siblings, but also towards the rest of the world around them. So with that said, let the newest journey begin!