Yesterday, the day after Christmas, my kids were super over tired from the long week we had had so far and my house was a complete wreck. I was determined to make sense out of it all, even though I knew it was going to be a horrible day full of attitudes, frustration, and very little success. It did in fact end up being a really rough day, and I was in a bad mood for most of it as a result. :P So, when I woke up this morning and sat down for my devotion time, I find it no surprise that God had me read what I did... especially in the midst of waking up to the house I spent all day yesterday cleaning in complete shambles already, the play room carpet is soaked with the water from the now deflated punching toy the kids got for Christmas, Kyleigh spilled a bottle of bubbles all over one of my shelves full of books, and my two youngest children were having a battle of the feet (not a happy one) while we were sitting on the couch together. Thankfully, I was already half way through the chapter, so I decided to walk past all of it and sneak into the "man cave" downstairs to finish reading before tackling each situation. Praise God that I did...this is some of what I read. (This is all from a book called 1,000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp) :)
"In our rushing, bulls in china shops, we break our own lives. Haste makes waste...On every level of life, from housework to heights of prayer, in all judgment and efforts to get things done, hurry and impatience are sure marks of the amateur...
The time, always the time, I'm an amateur trying to beat time. The six kids rouse. We race. The barn...and hurry.The books, the binders...and hurry! In a world addicted to speed, I blur the moments into one unholy smear. I have done it. I do it still. Hands of the clock whip hard. So I push hard and I fall hard and when their wide eyes brim sadness and their chins tremble weak, I am weary and I am the thin clear skin, reflecting their fatigue, about to burst, my eyes glistening their same sheer pain. The hurry makes us hurt. ..
I speak to God: I don't really want more time; I just want enough time. Time to breathe deep and time to see real and time to laugh long, time to give You glory and rest deep and sing joy and just enough time in a day not to feel hounded, pressed, driven, or wild to get it all done --- yesterday...
I just want time to do my one life well...
Time is a relentless river. It rages on, a respecter of no one. And this, this is the only way to slow time: When I fully enter time's swift current, enter into the current moment with the weight of all my attention, I slow the torrent with the weight of me all here. I can slow the torrent by being all here.I only live the full life when I live fully in the moment. And when I'm always looking for the next glimpse of glory, I slow and enter. And time slows. Weigh down this moment in time with attention full, and the whole of time's river slows, slows, slows....
Wherever you are, be all there...This is where God is. In the present. I AM --- His very name...
Thank God for the time, and very God enters that time, presence hallowing it. True, this full attention slows time and I live the full of the moment, right to outer edges. But there's more. I awake to I AM here. When I'm present, I meet I AM, the very presence of a present God. In His embrace, time loses all sense of speed and stress and space and stands so still and...holy. Here is the only place I can love Him...
It's ridiculous how much joy a moment can hold...
The real problem of life is never a lack of time. The real problem of life --- in my life --- is lack of thanksgiving....
Calm. Haste makes waste. Life is not an emergency. Life is brief and it is fleeting, but it is not an emergency...Stay calm, enter the moment, and give thanks...And I can always give thanks because an all-powerful God always has all these things, all things, always under control.
The slower the living, the greater the sense of fullness and satisfaction...
I watch the hands move grace on the clock face. I'm growing older. These children growing up. But time is not running out. This day is not a sieve, losing time. With each passing minute, each passing year, there's always a deepening awareness that I am filling, gaining time. We stand on the bring of eternity.
I want to savor long whatever time holds.
As I sat here and typed all of this up, I have had countless interruptions. Landon brought me his new puzzle box soaked in more bubbles, Kyleigh and D.J. were screaming their heads off at each other over a game, Hayden pulled out the step ladder and was climbing onto the counter to rummage through a cup of random nick knacks, and I literally just ran into the kitchen (which is right next to me at the moment) to rip a bottle of prenatal vitamins out of Haydens hand...a supposedly child proof bottle that she managed to open and tried to eat. Yes... despite what it may seem, there are things to be thankful for even in these moments. The fact that I have healthy active kids...kids who are able to use both hands, both feet, their voices, their brains... kids that drive me up the wall, but also shower me with love constantly throughout the day. Beautiful kids...beautiful gifts from my amazing Father in heaven...who for whatever reason, trusted me enough to be their mother.Even now, my youngest son just walked up to me and gave me a kiss on the shoulder, for no reason at all. May we enjoy EVERY moment...chaos or calm, and give God the glory in all things!
Now to go clean up all the water downstairs... what am I thankful for in this moment? The fact that we own a shop vac ;)
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